Many of us know at least one person who needs emotional support but not everyone knows how to provide it. Let's look at a couple of ways that you can provide a friend or loved one with support.
Ask relevant questions - This is a great place to start. Sometimes it helps to ask the person, How can I help you but it is not always effective. Therefore, a better approach would be to ask questions that are specific to the situation and/or the person's state of mind. For example, It seems like you are a bit upset today. Would you like to talk about it?
Listen - Questions on their own are not enough. It is vital to listen actively in order to provide emotional support. This means you give them your full attention. When you practice good listening skills you show the person that you care about what they are going through. This can make a huge difference in someone's life who is experiencing pain because they know that they are being heard.
Validate - In order to support someone doesn't mean you have to understand the problem or solve it. Sometimes all you have to do is validate the person because in this way you are showing them that you see and understand their perspective.
Avoid judgment - None of us likes feeling judged and someone who is going through a difficult situation because of their own actions probably has already done some self-judgment and doesn't need others to judge them as well. Therefore, when providing support, keep your opinions to yourself. Don't tell them what they should have done or where they went wrong.
Skip the advice - You might feel it would help if you offer advice on how the problem can be solved. However, people want you to rather listen to them therefore, only provide advice if they ask you for it.
Authenticity over perfection - When supporting someone don't worry too much about whether you are providing the right support. Rather, go with what feels natural and genuine because an authentic concern will most likely be far more meaningful than a thought-out plan devoid of sincere feelings.
Build them up - When someone is a little low, is harder on themselves than normal or if they are suffering from self-doubt it would be far more beneficial to improve their outlook by giving them a sincere compliment or two.
Support their solutions - Your approach to finding a solution might not be the one that the individual chooses but it doesn't mean that they are wrong. You might feel that their solution won't work but you can't know that with certainty. Therefore, don't tell them what you think they should do because this could undo all the positive feelings they have that were built because of the support you have already offered.
Offer physical affection - Depending on the relationship you have with an individual you can provide them with hugs, kisses, and caressing as it has a powerful impact. However, keep in mind that physical affection isn't appropriate in all situations.
Avoid minimizing - It is not up to you to tell someone how they should or shouldn't feel regarding anything that they are going through. This means it is important not to compare their difficulties with someone else's and be aware that this can inadvertently creep in an attempt to console them.
Make a nice gesture - When making a nice gesture you do not have to go overboard. Simply doing little things are often more impactful especially when your actions show that you have really heard and understood them.
Plan a distracting activity - There will be times when there won't be a solution for a difficult situation. This could lead to both of you feeling a bit helpless because time is sometimes time is the only way to fix a problem. Nevertheless, continue to offer support. Because some people find it difficult to face their difficult situation which leads to the inability to focus on other things it is a good idea to plan a low-key activity that can be postponed if they don't feel up to it. Generally, you can't go wrong with planning things that they enjoy doing.
Connect them with help - There are a variety of support systems that you can point an individual to who could provide further support to them. Look for one that will best suit the individual and their circumstances. The support systems are only a phone call away.
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