Aristotle -
The beauty of the soul shines out when a man bears with composure one heavy mischance after another, not because he does not feel them but because he is a man of high and heroic temper.
The Bible gives us interesting insights about the human nature. The Bible might not be psychological textbook or a mental health manual but it definitely touches on these subjects and it suggests to us the sources of our personal conflicts, our negative inter-personal relationships as well as our inappropriate thoughs and behaviour.
James, Jesus' brother, refers to negative thoughts and behaviours as temptations. We can all agree that we have been tempted in one way or another. Let me ask you - have you ever been tempted to:
- lie
- steal
- get revenge
- explode with anger
- develop bitterness
- wallow in self-pity / misery
- tell someone off
- think that life is unfair
- get upset with God
- give up?
James 1:12-15 tells us the following -
Blessed is the man who endures temptation; for when he has been approved, he will receive the crown of life which the Lord has promised to those who love Him. Let no one say when he is tempted, "I am tempted by God"; for God cannot be tempted by evil, nor does He Himself tempt anyone. But each one is tempted when he is drawn away by his own desires and enticed. Then, when desire has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and sin, when it is full-grow, brings forth death.
The reality is that every single person is born with natural impulses and desires. Children don't have to be taught how to lie, steal, cheat or fight. They don't have to be taught to say "That's mine" or how to express hostility and selfishness or how to throw a temper tantrum. All of these are inborn and they are effortless to them.
What does have to be taught and modelled is how to develop character and how to learn the principles of healthy living. These come through repetition, struggle as well as hard work.
Over the years, society has changed dramatically. People have stopped talking about character, conviction and moral obligations and have rather started focussing on the emerging self and one's need for coping mechanisms. According to Bob Phillips, living by principles has given way to living within the boundaries of my mental health diagnosis. The goal for life seems to be the satisfaction of the needs of the individual.
We need to ask ourselves what the consequences would be for individuals as well as society in general when one only thinks of his/her own needs instead of the needs of others? How will accountability and responsibility for our actions feature?
When we live by principles we will reap the benefit of stability and continuity. Principles gives us purpose as well as direction and they motivate us to endure the hard times. When there are no principles, individuals become totally selfish which leads to the disintegration of society.
Bob Phillips says an interesting thing:
Everyone must overcome problems, difficulties and trials. When they do, they experience peace and happiness. So where do emotional temptations and thoughts come from? The come from negative and unproductive thinking patterns. When we entertain these thoughts long enough, they give birth to actions. Thoughts and actions give rise to a lifestyle and eventually to our destiny.
We must start looking at mental illness as dysfunctions that has been caused by thinking processes as well as behavioural choices and not as medical diseases.
Everyone has been given the power to choose and daily we have to make many choices. Naturally some of our choices are mundane and "normal" daily choices but we do have the power to make more important as well as morally profound choices. You can choose:
- not to steal
- to obey the law
- not to lie
- not to be abusive
- to get mad or to let things go
- to be forgiving or to be bitter
- to lose your temper or to stay calm and gentle.
All of these choices have profound effects in your life.
Just as we have the power to make the above choices, we have the power to either believe that we are victims and have no power over our choices of being anxious or depressed or to believe that we have the power to change our way of thinking.
We can choose to either dwell on upsetting thoughts and play them over and over in our minds until they turn into concerns and worries which leads to anxiety or we can choose to renew our minds daily and not give in to these negative thoughts.
It is important to realise that to overcome anxiety and depression one must reject thoughts that destroy your joy and makes you emotionally unhealthy. However, overcoming these negative and unhealthy thinking isn't easy because our discourage feelings don't want to give up their influence and control over us. It is a struggle to work your way out of the valley of despair back to the road that leads to the mountain of happiness.
It takes a lot of effort to make the decision to change ones thinking, especially when you are facing a crisis and the fear of making wrong decisions can lead to procrastination as well as laziness and that is why we need courage.
Howard Cosell -
Courage takes many forms. There is physical courage, there is moral courage. Then there is a still higher type of courage - the courage to brave pain, to live with it, to never let others know of it, and to still find joy in life; to wake up in the morning with enthusiasm for the day ahead.
When times are tough, bite the bullet. During the American Civil War, when soldiers were brought to the doctors some needed amputations. At times there would be no anesthetics and the soldiers would have to bite on the soft lead of a bullet. At this point the doctor would say "Grit your teeth and bite the bullet". Hence the saying, bit the bullet.
There is no doubt that these experinces of the soldiers were not pleasant and we can say the same of our own lives. That is why there are occasions where we simply have to bite the bullet while our emotions are screaming of pain. Nobody enjoys facing difficult times but there are times that we have to experience and amputation of some sort. We need to be able to face our fears and angers so that healing can take place.
Amazing things can happen if we redirect our energy away from being worried, anxious and depressed towards a solution. Choose to rather bite the bullet and start planning a positive course for change. Start looking at you problems with a new set of eyes. Change your outlook from despair to hopefulness and positiveness.
Brooding over problems and difficulties won't solve them and inactivity won't make your problems go away. Taking pills won't solve the turmoil in your life.
Time-tested advise from previous generations are "emotional pills" and it would be wise to follow them. Like:
- keep busy
- get on with life
- don't dwell on in
- start excercising
- get out of the house
- go sit in the sunshine
- throw yourself into your work
- accept what you can't change
- start helping others who are worse off
- read the book of Psalms
Looking back at earlier times we can see that adversity and difficulty helped men and women in developing and improving their character and that suffering was a real and valid part of the human experience. These men and women understood that denying or running away from it would be detrimental to the development of their mental health.
We must start realising that pain has a message attached to it that should be embraced and not rejected because we learn lessons from the trials and hard times we face. We can never eliminate these from our lives so it would be good to draw experience and wisdom from them.
It is your choice to view suffering as something that destroys you or as something that strengthens you. Allow your struggles to make you sensitive to the needs and feelings of others that are encountering similiar experiences as you.
Instead of looking to the causes of anxiety and depression lets rather look for the meaning in them. It doesn't take a lot of effort to focus on the why of life. They why questions will never be answered to our satisfaction. However, when we rather focus on the how of life we can start to change. By examining the how of life we can take responsibility for making changes.
Ask yourself how you are dealing with accepting adversity in your life.
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